Ramblings of a 21st Century Proffesional II

Hmmh I know you won’t believe this but today I haven’t so much as blinked, dozed, yawned or even tried that rapid Eye motion stuff. I think congratulations are in order; I have just achieved success in a part of my life where even any amount of progress has eluded me for the last ten years. Someone needs to take me out too, buy me a drink, may be even a car, the order doesn’t really matter. Okay at least I deserve a pat on the back for this momentous achievement, I didn’t sleep at all today, I just blacked out from the minute I set foot through the office doors. I think it’s the weather, it has me on lock down here at my sleep counter and it doesn’t seem to be relenting regardless of how much tea I take...Oops,I almost forgot am asleep. Okay I think am beginning to sound like a lost cause but that’s what you get for calling yourself my friend. What would be my problem is now our problem and you have to help me deal with it or you’ll have nightmares (and that’s no joke).Now if you have been following my cyber diary entitled My Work Place, you would have realized that am one of the most intelligent,astute,gifted,mentally unbwoggable men of this generation who has only been hampered,derailed,truncated,curtailed and just so that we can keep this brief stopped and overwhelmingly held back by a fearless monster, a mind boggling condition and in my case, an involuntary reaction of the left hemisphere of my brain called sleep. I must state it here that am inclined to believe that this may be some grand conspiracy by certain people led by a black, Kenyan, Moslem with questionable heritage to thwart my earnest and genuine efforts to progress in all the various fields of brilliance known to man. When am awake, am capable of speaking and writing eight international languages popularly known as the eight Rs,which include,Runyoro,Rukiga,Runyankole,Runyakitara,Ruganda,Ruzungu,Rufaransa and of course Runauganda.You see such is the brilliant composition of my cerebral cortex that these languages may not even be known to you reader,infact I can bet my vision on the fact that neither,Putin,Obama,Ban-Ki-Moon,Angela,Jintao,Annan,Perez,Sarkozy,or even Gary Skinner know all these eight languages. Do u begin to see why this sleep malaise that has had me chained, shackled, imprisoned, bound and tied to it for all these years must be a well orchestrated move by some, rich, powerful people to deny me the opportunity to reach my full potential?Infact I think I got slightly distracted, while awake, I can decipher Morse Code, iambic pentameter, Latin Symbology not to mention interpret Greek mythology with the ample assistance of my unconscious mind which as you must have guessed takes over when one is asleep. I have the skills and knowledge to arm and disarm all post WW2 nuclear or non-nuclear war heads and that is if am at the scene at the exact time and I don’t doze while doing it. I am the only man south of the North Pole and north of the South Pole who can effortlessly shut down all body activity without necessarily lying down. This can be accomplished at any place and any time, even in full view of unsuspecting members of the general public, could be in front of a monitor, television set, an ongoing speech, a lecture on global peace, global warming, weapons of mass destruction or any other topic that I choose to have the last word since by then I have rebooted and flying at full throttle. Now here comes the winner, I can effortlessly recite a minimum of one thousand different sayings and quotations in a series of dialects that would make Confucius feel that he would have been proud to be living in the 21st Century.