The year that was.

2010 started out for me in a characteristically  drunken stupor, I was a guest at  a house party organized by one of my longest serving friends and confidant, Kun Lao, who has curved a place in my heart for her unconditional,unwavering and cordial love that she continues to bestow upon my staggering (pun intended) soul.The minute I got to the party,I proceeded to imbibe all sorts of drinks visible to my eye and as always,it didn't help that they had a meticulously mixed concoction which in itself would render a dozen Irish men out of service.

Partners in Crime.

A couple of minutes towards midnight and all I could see was a clear sky with no stars,no clouds,no moon but just the reflection of my forehead.The usual countdown started and I have no re-collection of  whether I counted 3,1,...,2 or 2,1,4....,but all in all,the year started literally on a high note.
Fast forward to 4.00 a.m since I have no idea who called me or who I called between midnight and then.
My heavily intoxicated mind connived with my legs to carry me from Sir.Apollo Kaggwa Rd.to Kisementi,a place i had no idea I would begin to love more than life itself.It was while here that I met a very beautiful young lass standing by herself waiting for her friends to make up their minds so that they can all go home.Apparently she was from an overnight at Watoto Church and she didn't remember seeing me conducting the orchestra while there(Kampala gals,hmmmh)
Okay,so I quickly forgot about the orchestra I was playing and decided to focus on the issue at hand(please note that at this time I was actually holding her hand) At that point in time,I was a telecommunication engineer who had just finished grad school and was just looking for a gal exactly like the one whose hand I was holding to come into my life so that together we can produce the next generation of children who will take after the likes of Martin Luther,Obama,Einstein, Wangari Maathai etc...Up until that point we shared the same vision.But after the various rounds of God knows what,!!! I wasn't going to give up my pursuit of a happy nite(and we all know how that ends).I mean honestly is there a better way to start the year?
But the gal at hand seemed like she had an even bigger vision for both of us.She had asked God for one thing this year and that 'thing' was holding her hand.An intelligent,young,ambitious boyfriend to make her smile,laugh and do all the things that lovers do.(How prayers can be answered,don't ask me).
Moving on,being the gentleman I am,(choking on this)I escorted her home and promised to take her for ice cream the following day.Unknown to me at that time,I had just needlessly started the journey down the relationship path,a journey I was not familiar with to say the least and one that in retrospect I believe I was not prepared for(but what could have possibly prepared me for this journey)
Well,as the months went by,we had ice cream,more ice cream,and plenty more ice cream.On a any given Sunday,we would be found like this.

How adorable,(banging my head on the wall)

She slowly melted the walls of my heart(are they still called ventricles?) and before long the grapevine was ripe with rumours that Cupid had actually shot me, me.,Davis....,not if I had something to do with it.But all that macho talk went out of the window but so did most of my brain cells courtesy of late night binges,sleep overs at the brewery(read Sir Apollo) and the lack of any academic activity going on in my life.
While still talking about the lack of academic activity,I must add that it is during this year that I graduated with an Honors degree much to the surprise of some people who thought I was at university for the wrong reasons.This was celebrated in the only way I know how,with friends,family,well wishers and sooth sayers.

January gone,February past by so fast cause I was probably to hung over to notice and it didn't help that at Baroque Publishers where apparently I was the Editor in chief,I wasn't being paid a dime for all the sleep I was generating both on and off the job.I felt like my life had entered a kind of comatose state and any efforts to get out proved futile since most of the people that worked around me had been in a similar state long before I came along.
March and most of April saw a resurgence brought about by an interview that I did at Aga Khan University where two lovely women traveled to Uganda to inspect the contents of my cranium and found that therein lay something that needed to be checked and urgently so.
I waited for the results of this interview like my life depended on it.I prayed,made promises I haven't kept,did all the positive thinking one could possibly do,envisioned myself as this tough talking lecturer with a bunch of dim-witted students as my best friends and drew all the possible scenarios that my mind could conjure up to keep me going and determined that this job would surely be mine.I waited.....,May came and June passed by and still no call,no email,no sign of any light at the end of this tunnel. If I had seen any then,I would certainly believe that it was a speeding train coming to save me from this patient patience.By July, I was clearly clutching at straws,I was working as a salesman at a bridal gown store and my boss who was Nigerian kept whispering into my ear that I was the right man for this kind of job.Armed with radiant,positive energy and dozens of literature on how to make a good sale,I attempted to convince some marriage-happy women to buy some gowns from our store.I worked hard at this and quit after 4 hours and 12 min.
My only hope for redemption,survival and a meal to eat now lay at the behest of some strangers who lived not less than 300km away from me.
August found me in a parasitic kind of relationship with another of my longest serving friends,Bossmo who was still at University and therefore had the luxury of asking his parents for accommodation,food to eat and clothes to wear.I lived with him in his one roomed domicile well aware of the repercussions that this could carry if the land lord found out so you can imagine,late night visits,and early morning getaways.
From Kampalas'  7 hills,I could be heard ululating courtesy of an email I received around mid August asking me to travel to Nairobi for a face to face interview with the said strangers.
I was required to study a 20 page document and present my findings in a coherent,logical and intelligent manner that would guarantee whether I get the job or not.I certainly wasn't going to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to get out of the unenviable  rut that had become my life.I read,studied and rehearsed every bit of my presentation with a dear friend of mine we prefer to call the Surgeon.

The Surgeon is on the extreme left looking suave and dashing.

Thanks to him,I employed some of the best power point techniques known to man in this century and needless to say I was rewarded with the job 4 weeks later.
September found me nested in the splendid Royal Apartments in Parklands-Nairobi where I dined and wined with some of the most intelligent people on this continent and if I had any doubts that God exists,they were all
brought to naught because I could not fathom how lucky I was to be in the company of these wonderful people.

A sizzling pot of cultures.

 October and November found me sashaying through the streets of Nairobi,dining at Tribe,tasting the finest Indian cuisine,swimming through the 14 falls,discussing multi-cultural experiences,new frontiers of knowledge and paradigm shifts in the knowledge economy(I have no idea what all that is,but it makes good conversation)
As we approach the festive season,I am happy and thankful to God for great things He hath done and as we usher in 2011,I hope it finds me in a more sober state than I was in 2010.

Proudly Ugandan

As the curtains were drawn on the fourth season of the annual,grand,opulent and auspicious Tusker Project Fame show,it was quite evident that one man was happy beyond his wildest dreams.
The Tusker Project Fame show is a reality t.v show that brings together a group of young men and women from the East African region where Tusker is dominantly the beer of choice,who have the ambition,zeal and potential to be great musicians and places them in an academy where they learn,participate,explore and hone their musical and dancing skills on the road to eventual stardom.The general public reserve the right to evict any one from the academy who they feel doesn't have the wherewithal to be the next big "thing" and this goes on through a number of weeks as the contestants are nominated for eviction and the public decides who goes home and who stays in the academy.It is East Africa's premier reality t.v show and It has been described as  a "marriage between voyeuristic big brother and the musical phenomenon Idols with a thrilling dose of survivor-style voting."
A dedicated,ambitious multi-talented young man,25 year old Davis Ntare made Uganda proud by winning the fourth season of the Tusker Project Fame.
His profile states quaintly that he is a multi-faceted artist with interests in production,photography,song writing,abstract art and the noble desire to use his knowledge and skills to reach out to people in a positive way.

 Davis fell down a couple of seconds after the announcement that he had won the Tusker Project Fame season four; unable to contain the excitement.euphoria and ecstasy that had gripped him after finding out he would be walking home Kshs.5million richer.
For me it was joy and happiness, for yet another Ugandan had proved himself on the regional and international stage as a fighter,a champion,a true winner and a force to be reckoned with in the next couple of years.
A few weeks ago,I gave Uganda and T.Z a bashing on this blog after witnessing how Kenya was seemingly running away with all the possible international accolades they could possibly master but Davis and the runner up Msechu from Tanzania proved to the entire region and the world that they have what it takes to compete and be recognized on the international stage.
A very important lesson to learn form Davis' story is that,it doesn't matter how long you keep trying,how long you have to wait for victory,how long you have to practice,the honest truth is, if you persist at doing something you love,over and over and over again,you will surely reach Nirvana and you will achieve everything that looked impossible at first sight.Kudos to you Davis,kudos to Uganda.
In a related Ugandan success story,I can't congratulate the Uganda Cranes enough for beating their arch rivals and the country of my current residence, Kenya,2.0. I t was a highly contested game and any blunder on either side would have literally cost the side but Uganda was not taking any hostages and though they left it late,they are now perched on top of  their  Group and basking in what could well be one of their best tournament runs.Needless to say they have qualified for the quarter finals and though there is a long way to go before lifting the trophy,so far so good.So for this past week,all I can say is it feels good to be Ugandan.

Facebook makes dating more complicated than ever.

Social media has added an entirely new dimension to our lives. It has also complicated our relationships beyond measure. In the past, it may have been possible to stay below the radar; now your friends know about your break-up the moment it happens.
Face book in particular has taken that which was conveniently tacit and brought it into the public realm. It’s this mutual visibility that makes social media so tricky – I know that you know that I know – and it has led to a situation where identity has become both performative and narrative: We’re always putting on a show, and we’re always giving a blow-by-blow account of the spellbinding minutiae of our lives. We’re the stars of our own reality TV series and a relationship, like the self, is now something that is available for public consumption.
There’s a certain logic to the way in which many relationships pan out in an age where the digital self is as real as the version you keep offline (and where this distinction is becoming increasingly irrelevant)

It can also be described in the following steps:

1. You register on a dating website, check out one another’s profiles and, if the sales pitch upfront grabs you, go on to read the narratives. (My favourite: “I am a fun guy looking to have fun and laugh again I just want to let my hair down and have fun again I want to just go where I want to go, and do what I want to do with who ever wants to do it with me”) Viewing the profile leads to mailing a prospective date, to chatting online, to exchanging phone numbers, each representing an ever greater level of intimacy.
2. You then meet the person behind the profile In Real Life. Based on this, you decide whether or not you want to see this person again.
3. You friend them on Face book (note that steps 2 and 3 are interchangeable).
4. You both decide that you quite fancy one another. You go on dates over a period of several weeks, perhaps start staying over.
5. You change your relationship status on Face book from “single” to “in a relationship”.
6. By now the relationship IRL has lasted a couple of months and you become known offline as a couple.
7. You choose this moment to make the biggest commitment it’s possible to make with the exception of buying property together or getting engaged: you announce, on Facebook, that you’re in a relationship with a specific person. Your more polite friends click on the “Like” button.
8. You write on one another’s walls and tag one another in photographs taken at braais with friends.
9. After a while, however, one – or both – of you starts to ask themselves the question that spells doom for all relationships: “Is this working?”
10. You decide that it isn’t, so you break up.
11. Now there’s a kind of arms race to be the first to change your relationship status back from “in a relationship” to “single”. Whoever gets there first effectively has more power, because they’re taking the initiative and you’re on the back foot. When it comes to the status change, he who hesitates looks like a loser.
12. Depending on the intensity of the relationship, you spend somewhere between a couple of days and several months weeping, listening to sad songs and drinking too much.
13. During this time, you will have maintained the Facebook friendship with your ex, mainly because you quite like being able to monitor what they’re up to every now and then.
14. You will have hidden their updates though, as seeing them in your newsfeed unexpectedly is too painful. Instead, you’ll allow yourself a once-weekly squizz at their profile and, from time to time, you’ll comment on a status update just to maintain a casual level of friendliness. It’s important not to be seen as "bunny boiler" material though, so you pace yourself.
15. Then one day you notice that your former love interest has changed their status from “single” to “in a relationship”. Because this signals that they have moved on, you feel an irrational sense of loss, and, in a gesture that feels oddly liberating, you unfriend them (and also any of your mutual friends who clicked ”like” on said status update).
16. One Terrific  Tuesday a couple of weeks later, you receive an SMS querying the unfriending. You assume it’s a case of drunk texting and allow yourself a quiet moment of pleasure at this incontrovertible evidence that your ex does care, a bit, after all.
17. You go back to the dating website, start chatting to someone else, and the cycle begins afresh.

Failed relationships are painful enough – and few things are more painful than failure in public.

The Emperor is Naked.

Hullo folks,how is your week so far? Mine is simply awesome.I have been engrossed in Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles  for the past few days and I can't begin to tell you what a profound impact some of his writings have had on me,that story for another day.Moving on quickly to the real reason for this post.
I can't help but marvel at the recent Wikileaks of a certain Mr.Julius Assange (Is it just me or does this name sound Ghanaian)
I mean this guy just opened Pandora's box and all of  America and at time of this writing Europe too are hunting him down with all they got.A reliable source of mine at the Pentagon whispered into my ear that they are considering bringing Jack Bauer out of retirement for this one herculean mission.I mean who does this guy think he is, going onto the world wide web and revealing some of America's most intimate secrets.In my books he deserves a Nobel prize for courage.The Times' Magazine has him as the public's favourite to win the award of  Man of the Year 2010,so as you can see my prize is not going to the wrong man.Now for those of you my dear readers who may not be familiar with what I am talking about,Julian Assange is the man behind the recent Wikileaks that have caused unprecedented pandemonium across the world.From the sand dunes of Arabia to the coastal beaches of Mombasa,governments are up in arms about how,why,when,who,for lack of a better description allow me to use WTF.The entire world is quite flummoxed about the reports by this website.The website contains footage,statements and evidence of meetings held by highly placed government officials in the American government discussing their view of world leaders and sharing their opinions on other sovereign states across the globe.
For me,it is not as surprising as it is hilarious to find that seemingly unknown to the entire world,America keeps tabs on almost anything and everything they consider useful to their grand plan to patronize and rule over the entire world.For a very long time,America has behaved and continues to behave like the  WPD(World Police Department) and so it retains the right to obtain information about anybody and any country and use it at any appropriate time.There is a popular adage in America that says that "In America,it is not so much about who you know but what you know about who you know that can get you hired,elected,promoted,honoured or even electrocuted..," the list is endless.So for those of you who have always doubted this,the Wikileaks just lent more credence to this adage.
Despite the various attempts by America to help the world,create a better place for you and me through their various donations,charity organizations,relief aid and poverty alleviation programs,the truth still sticks out like a sore thumb.From time immemorial,America has and will continue to serve their own interests and no amount of good will or good intentions for the rest of the world will stand in their way.
I mean,,when you think about it,why would any one in their right mind keep records of such things like Col.Gaddafi's  love for  Ukrainian voluptuous women so he always travels with one of them.
If this is in any way relevant to finding a lasting solution to global warming,terrorism and the AIDS scourge across the world,then somebody speak now or forever hold your peace.The revelations by this website have needlessly put a dent in relations between America and the rest of the world and this could not have come at a worse time when the Obama administration is still at pains to explain to its citizens the repercussions of the stimulus package,the highly contested Health Bill and the plummeting public opinion of President Obama.
The reports in these leaks have undermined any efforts that President Obama has made in trying to reconcile  and repair relations with the Islamic world and I am yet to hear what he has to say about this preposterous information.
As for Julian,he continues to evade the police who have by the time of this writing issued a warrant for his arrest on charges of rape in Sweden.Well I can't comment on that for now lest I am considered an accomplice but we will just have to wait and see how this story unfolds.
And now I present to you the man.Mr.Julian Assange.