Ramblings of a 21st Century Proffesional.

Let me give you a little insight into my seemingly successful, admirable, happy, joyous, but otherwise hapless, stagnant, meandering to no-end and unfulfilled life dear reader. For the last two months or so, I haven’t had an ounce of happiness except of course when enjoying a meal, nap or beer the order doesn’t really matter. I can’t exclusively say the cause of this certain downturn but am inclined to believe it has something to do with a strong sense of guilt for taking matters into my own hands, pretending to be in control of my emotions and being gainfully unemployed. For someone who claimed to be and actually was heavily engrossed in positive thinking literature and thought he would walk the talk, after all how hard could it possibly be(lesser mortals have done it before me, Mandela,Carson,Clinton,the Pope, Osama even Obama), I find myself in a self induced comatose state of abject actually abysmal misery, my thoughts have recently bordered close to suicidal (and I mean that, this is not a joke) and am embarrassed to say that I may be suffering from a certain form of temporary insanity (tending towards permanent).How did I get here???
Take for example today; since I got to work here at Baroque Publishers, I have been asleep half the entire time. Let me correct that, since I started working here, two weeks from today. That means that I have been asleep for one week, can u imagine???
All I do is hope and pray that they serve lunch earlier today than they usually do then I start counting down the hours to five o’clock in between which I go to the John every after20 minutes just to see my reflection, wash my hands, (they have lovely hand gel), say hi to the janitor, he’s my friend too u know, and compliment the receptionist, she likes my shirts.
The only thing I seem to be publishing is clear and evident symptoms of recurrent bouts of trypanasomiasis (sleeping sickness, as you can see, I have done my research) I must add that this has been efficiently executed in full view of my workmates and I can only wonder what they are thinking about this new recruit (read retard) who doesn’t seem to know what to do except of course, sleep. I can’t even hit on any of the ladies; they probably think am a 60 year old man stuck in a 23 year old guy’s body. Either that or am deranged. The only consolation I have is that the youngest of them all is 35 and divorced, not my type clearly.
You know how you can spend your entire life planning and knowing that you are going to get where you have always wanted to, then in less than the time you can say bad credit, you are in between a rock and a hard place and you’re wondering how you got there in the first place. We would all love to pride ourselves in the ability to plan and execute our plans with meticulous precision but what happens when those plans meticulously go wrong and all you can say is WHY???
I have been thinking about all this and the more I think about it the more I realise I need redemption, salvation, conviction maybe even omission and just in case you are planning on advising me, let me state it clearly here that Please, Please desist from the temptation to say that you know what am going through cause these circumstances are exclusively mine.(thank you very much).
Okay now feel free to advise me accordingly because you wouldn’t be reading this if I even had the slightest inclination, flicker, tinge, ioata of doubt about your ability to advise me in this matter.