My 1st speech as a Toast Master,
Time check;7:20
Venue:Parklands Sports Club
The atmosphere was tense,an ice breaker it is called,I felt like I was the one caught up in an ice block and I needed to be broken.Speaking has always and always will be a natural and reflexive way for me to create space between my upper and lower jaw and emit some sort of audible sound but this evening was like no other.I was just seconds away from delivering my first speech as a Toastmaster,surely I at least need a drink to calm my nerves before approaching the lectern not just because I felt a little nervous but because I hadn't prepared adequately.
Preparation is key and is lesson numero uno of the Speaking Manual.
How on earth did time pass me by? Blame it on work,I was overwhelmed by the conversation,sumptuous meals,resplendent ambience and the extravagant display of beauty at Tribe hotel last week as I tried to imagine a future for the 21st Century graduate.In a bid to seem composed,unfazed,unruffled and the least dignified,I wore my red tie(it has served me well)I had made various trips to the saloon to get rid of my overgrown beard so as to look prim,proper and well groomed as this would accentuate my articulation,you certainly can\t look like Wolverine and speak like Joel Osteen.
I heard my well constructed introduction barely mouthed inaudibly by the TM of the day and I knew I was off on a wrong a foot.
I stood up with all the courage I could master and walked gallantly to the lectern.
As I stood there head and shoulders upright clearing my throat,I could see straight into the eyes of my audience and could tell that they all had a ravenous hunger to hear and listen to exactly what I was about to say.They seemed glued to their seats and this is what I told them.....,
Thursday, November 4, 2010
A courageous letter form a friend.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne
I like the definitions of courage above, which all suggest that courage is the ability to get yourself to take action in spite of fear. The word courage derives from the Latin cor, which means "heart." But true courage is more a matter of intellect than of feeling. It requires using the uniquely human part of your brain (the neocortex) to wrest control away from the emotional limbic brain you share in common with other mammals. Your limbic brain signals danger, but your neocortex reasons that the danger isn't real, so you simply feel the fear and take action anyway. The more you learn to act in spite of fear, the more human you become. The more you follow the fear, the more you live like a lower mammal. So the question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" is consistent with human neurology.
Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behavior, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourself to become more timid and mouse-like.
Such avoidance behavior causes stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears: a stable but unhappy marriage, a job that doesn't require you to take risks, an income that keeps you comfortable. Then you rationalize your behavior: You have a family to support and can't take risks, you're too old to shift careers, you can't lose weight because you have "fat" genes. Five years... ten years... twenty years pass, and you realize that your life hasn't changed all that much. You've settled down. All that's really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you'll finally achieve total safety and security.
But there's something else going on behind the scenes, isn't there? That tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to live. It wants more, much more. It wants you to become far wealthier, to have an outstanding relationship, to get your body in peak physical condition, to learn new skills, to travel the world, to have lots of wonderful friends, to help people in need, to make a meaningful difference. That voice tells you that settling into a job where you sell widgets the rest of your life just won't cut it. That voice frowns at you when you catch a glance of your oversized belly in the mirror or get winded going up a flight of stairs. It beams disappointment when it sees what's become of your family. It tells you that the reason you have trouble motivating yourself is that you aren't doing what you really ought to be doing with your life... because you're afraid. And if you refuse to listen, it will always be there, nagging you about your mediocre results until you die, full of regrets for what might have been.
So how do you respond to this ornery voice that won't shut up? What do you do when confronted by that gut feeling that something just isn't right in your life? What's your favorite way to silence it? Maybe drown it out by watching TV, listening to the radio, working long hours at an unfulfilling job, or consuming alcohol and caffeine and sugar.
But whenever you do this, you lower your level of consciousness. You sink closer towards an instinctive animal and move away from becoming a fully conscious human being. You react to life instead of proactively going after your goals. You fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you begin to believe that your goals are no longer possible or practical for you. You become more and more like a mouse, even trying to convince yourself that life as a mouse might not be so bad after all, since everyone around you seems to be OK with it. You surround yourself with your fellow mice, and on the rare occasions that you encounter a fully conscious human being, it scares the hell out of you to remember how much of your own courage has been lost.
Regards,
Eric.
- Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne
I like the definitions of courage above, which all suggest that courage is the ability to get yourself to take action in spite of fear. The word courage derives from the Latin cor, which means "heart." But true courage is more a matter of intellect than of feeling. It requires using the uniquely human part of your brain (the neocortex) to wrest control away from the emotional limbic brain you share in common with other mammals. Your limbic brain signals danger, but your neocortex reasons that the danger isn't real, so you simply feel the fear and take action anyway. The more you learn to act in spite of fear, the more human you become. The more you follow the fear, the more you live like a lower mammal. So the question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" is consistent with human neurology.
Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behavior, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourself to become more timid and mouse-like.
Such avoidance behavior causes stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears: a stable but unhappy marriage, a job that doesn't require you to take risks, an income that keeps you comfortable. Then you rationalize your behavior: You have a family to support and can't take risks, you're too old to shift careers, you can't lose weight because you have "fat" genes. Five years... ten years... twenty years pass, and you realize that your life hasn't changed all that much. You've settled down. All that's really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you'll finally achieve total safety and security.
But there's something else going on behind the scenes, isn't there? That tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to live. It wants more, much more. It wants you to become far wealthier, to have an outstanding relationship, to get your body in peak physical condition, to learn new skills, to travel the world, to have lots of wonderful friends, to help people in need, to make a meaningful difference. That voice tells you that settling into a job where you sell widgets the rest of your life just won't cut it. That voice frowns at you when you catch a glance of your oversized belly in the mirror or get winded going up a flight of stairs. It beams disappointment when it sees what's become of your family. It tells you that the reason you have trouble motivating yourself is that you aren't doing what you really ought to be doing with your life... because you're afraid. And if you refuse to listen, it will always be there, nagging you about your mediocre results until you die, full of regrets for what might have been.
So how do you respond to this ornery voice that won't shut up? What do you do when confronted by that gut feeling that something just isn't right in your life? What's your favorite way to silence it? Maybe drown it out by watching TV, listening to the radio, working long hours at an unfulfilling job, or consuming alcohol and caffeine and sugar.
But whenever you do this, you lower your level of consciousness. You sink closer towards an instinctive animal and move away from becoming a fully conscious human being. You react to life instead of proactively going after your goals. You fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you begin to believe that your goals are no longer possible or practical for you. You become more and more like a mouse, even trying to convince yourself that life as a mouse might not be so bad after all, since everyone around you seems to be OK with it. You surround yourself with your fellow mice, and on the rare occasions that you encounter a fully conscious human being, it scares the hell out of you to remember how much of your own courage has been lost.
Regards,
Eric.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Love,the way i know it.
Sometimes when you love,you must learn to love to let go.Woe unto the man(read woman)who gets him/herself into a situation they can't get out of.The heart unlike the mind is very fragile,it oscillates almost simultaneously between love and hate.When it does love genuinely,there is no better feeling in the world.To let yourself fall flagrantly in love is the best thing in the world that could ever happen to you.You feel the proverbial butterflies flap their wings inside your belly.They sashay from one side to another filled with total bliss and merry.It is almost unconcealable that you are in love,friends,family,distant and close relatives don't have to ask,its self-evident that you are falling in love.You change your ringtone to signal her every call,you smile as you pick her calls,you laugh like a twelve year old hippie and not even pakalast seems enough since every min.every second you want to hear her voice.She becomes the center of your attention,you cancel appointments with friends and relatives to attend to her every whim and caprice.You can pick a quarrel over the colour of the sky but when she says sorry,your heart melts with pride and joy.You seem to be on a different realm,some call it nirvana,I call it blissful paradise.When you look into her eyes,all you see are your unborn children gazing back at you almost saying "Hi Daddy,"
Then almost without warning,like a power blackout,She goes to sleep.
Then almost without warning,like a power blackout,She goes to sleep.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ramblings of a 21st Century Proffesional II
Hmmh I know you won’t believe this but today I haven’t so much as blinked, dozed, yawned or even tried that rapid Eye motion stuff. I think congratulations are in order; I have just achieved success in a part of my life where even any amount of progress has eluded me for the last ten years. Someone needs to take me out too, buy me a drink, may be even a car, the order doesn’t really matter. Okay at least I deserve a pat on the back for this momentous achievement, I didn’t sleep at all today, I just blacked out from the minute I set foot through the office doors. I think it’s the weather, it has me on lock down here at my sleep counter and it doesn’t seem to be relenting regardless of how much tea I take...Oops,I almost forgot am asleep. Okay I think am beginning to sound like a lost cause but that’s what you get for calling yourself my friend. What would be my problem is now our problem and you have to help me deal with it or you’ll have nightmares (and that’s no joke).Now if you have been following my cyber diary entitled My Work Place, you would have realized that am one of the most intelligent,astute,gifted,mentally unbwoggable men of this generation who has only been hampered,derailed,truncated,curtailed and just so that we can keep this brief stopped and overwhelmingly held back by a fearless monster, a mind boggling condition and in my case, an involuntary reaction of the left hemisphere of my brain called sleep. I must state it here that am inclined to believe that this may be some grand conspiracy by certain people led by a black, Kenyan, Moslem with questionable heritage to thwart my earnest and genuine efforts to progress in all the various fields of brilliance known to man. When am awake, am capable of speaking and writing eight international languages popularly known as the eight Rs,which include,Runyoro,Rukiga,Runyankole,Runyakitara,Ruganda,Ruzungu,Rufaransa and of course Runauganda.You see such is the brilliant composition of my cerebral cortex that these languages may not even be known to you reader,infact I can bet my vision on the fact that neither,Putin,Obama,Ban-Ki-Moon,Angela,Jintao,Annan,Perez,Sarkozy,or even Gary Skinner know all these eight languages. Do u begin to see why this sleep malaise that has had me chained, shackled, imprisoned, bound and tied to it for all these years must be a well orchestrated move by some, rich, powerful people to deny me the opportunity to reach my full potential?Infact I think I got slightly distracted, while awake, I can decipher Morse Code, iambic pentameter, Latin Symbology not to mention interpret Greek mythology with the ample assistance of my unconscious mind which as you must have guessed takes over when one is asleep. I have the skills and knowledge to arm and disarm all post WW2 nuclear or non-nuclear war heads and that is if am at the scene at the exact time and I don’t doze while doing it. I am the only man south of the North Pole and north of the South Pole who can effortlessly shut down all body activity without necessarily lying down. This can be accomplished at any place and any time, even in full view of unsuspecting members of the general public, could be in front of a monitor, television set, an ongoing speech, a lecture on global peace, global warming, weapons of mass destruction or any other topic that I choose to have the last word since by then I have rebooted and flying at full throttle. Now here comes the winner, I can effortlessly recite a minimum of one thousand different sayings and quotations in a series of dialects that would make Confucius feel that he would have been proud to be living in the 21st Century.
Hmmh I know you won’t believe this but today I haven’t so much as blinked, dozed, yawned or even tried that rapid Eye motion stuff. I think congratulations are in order; I have just achieved success in a part of my life where even any amount of progress has eluded me for the last ten years. Someone needs to take me out too, buy me a drink, may be even a car, the order doesn’t really matter. Okay at least I deserve a pat on the back for this momentous achievement, I didn’t sleep at all today, I just blacked out from the minute I set foot through the office doors. I think it’s the weather, it has me on lock down here at my sleep counter and it doesn’t seem to be relenting regardless of how much tea I take...Oops,I almost forgot am asleep. Okay I think am beginning to sound like a lost cause but that’s what you get for calling yourself my friend. What would be my problem is now our problem and you have to help me deal with it or you’ll have nightmares (and that’s no joke).Now if you have been following my cyber diary entitled My Work Place, you would have realized that am one of the most intelligent,astute,gifted,mentally unbwoggable men of this generation who has only been hampered,derailed,truncated,curtailed and just so that we can keep this brief stopped and overwhelmingly held back by a fearless monster, a mind boggling condition and in my case, an involuntary reaction of the left hemisphere of my brain called sleep. I must state it here that am inclined to believe that this may be some grand conspiracy by certain people led by a black, Kenyan, Moslem with questionable heritage to thwart my earnest and genuine efforts to progress in all the various fields of brilliance known to man. When am awake, am capable of speaking and writing eight international languages popularly known as the eight Rs,which include,Runyoro,Rukiga,Runyankole,Runyakitara,Ruganda,Ruzungu,Rufaransa and of course Runauganda.You see such is the brilliant composition of my cerebral cortex that these languages may not even be known to you reader,infact I can bet my vision on the fact that neither,Putin,Obama,Ban-Ki-Moon,Angela,Jintao,Annan,Perez,Sarkozy,or even Gary Skinner know all these eight languages. Do u begin to see why this sleep malaise that has had me chained, shackled, imprisoned, bound and tied to it for all these years must be a well orchestrated move by some, rich, powerful people to deny me the opportunity to reach my full potential?Infact I think I got slightly distracted, while awake, I can decipher Morse Code, iambic pentameter, Latin Symbology not to mention interpret Greek mythology with the ample assistance of my unconscious mind which as you must have guessed takes over when one is asleep. I have the skills and knowledge to arm and disarm all post WW2 nuclear or non-nuclear war heads and that is if am at the scene at the exact time and I don’t doze while doing it. I am the only man south of the North Pole and north of the South Pole who can effortlessly shut down all body activity without necessarily lying down. This can be accomplished at any place and any time, even in full view of unsuspecting members of the general public, could be in front of a monitor, television set, an ongoing speech, a lecture on global peace, global warming, weapons of mass destruction or any other topic that I choose to have the last word since by then I have rebooted and flying at full throttle. Now here comes the winner, I can effortlessly recite a minimum of one thousand different sayings and quotations in a series of dialects that would make Confucius feel that he would have been proud to be living in the 21st Century.
Ramblings of a 21st Century Proffesional.
Let me give you a little insight into my seemingly successful, admirable, happy, joyous, but otherwise hapless, stagnant, meandering to no-end and unfulfilled life dear reader. For the last two months or so, I haven’t had an ounce of happiness except of course when enjoying a meal, nap or beer the order doesn’t really matter. I can’t exclusively say the cause of this certain downturn but am inclined to believe it has something to do with a strong sense of guilt for taking matters into my own hands, pretending to be in control of my emotions and being gainfully unemployed. For someone who claimed to be and actually was heavily engrossed in positive thinking literature and thought he would walk the talk, after all how hard could it possibly be(lesser mortals have done it before me, Mandela,Carson,Clinton,the Pope, Osama even Obama), I find myself in a self induced comatose state of abject actually abysmal misery, my thoughts have recently bordered close to suicidal (and I mean that, this is not a joke) and am embarrassed to say that I may be suffering from a certain form of temporary insanity (tending towards permanent).How did I get here???
Take for example today; since I got to work here at Baroque Publishers, I have been asleep half the entire time. Let me correct that, since I started working here, two weeks from today. That means that I have been asleep for one week, can u imagine???
All I do is hope and pray that they serve lunch earlier today than they usually do then I start counting down the hours to five o’clock in between which I go to the John every after20 minutes just to see my reflection, wash my hands, (they have lovely hand gel), say hi to the janitor, he’s my friend too u know, and compliment the receptionist, she likes my shirts.
The only thing I seem to be publishing is clear and evident symptoms of recurrent bouts of trypanasomiasis (sleeping sickness, as you can see, I have done my research) I must add that this has been efficiently executed in full view of my workmates and I can only wonder what they are thinking about this new recruit (read retard) who doesn’t seem to know what to do except of course, sleep. I can’t even hit on any of the ladies; they probably think am a 60 year old man stuck in a 23 year old guy’s body. Either that or am deranged. The only consolation I have is that the youngest of them all is 35 and divorced, not my type clearly.
You know how you can spend your entire life planning and knowing that you are going to get where you have always wanted to, then in less than the time you can say bad credit, you are in between a rock and a hard place and you’re wondering how you got there in the first place. We would all love to pride ourselves in the ability to plan and execute our plans with meticulous precision but what happens when those plans meticulously go wrong and all you can say is WHY???
I have been thinking about all this and the more I think about it the more I realise I need redemption, salvation, conviction maybe even omission and just in case you are planning on advising me, let me state it clearly here that Please, Please desist from the temptation to say that you know what am going through cause these circumstances are exclusively mine.(thank you very much).
Okay now feel free to advise me accordingly because you wouldn’t be reading this if I even had the slightest inclination, flicker, tinge, ioata of doubt about your ability to advise me in this matter.
Let me give you a little insight into my seemingly successful, admirable, happy, joyous, but otherwise hapless, stagnant, meandering to no-end and unfulfilled life dear reader. For the last two months or so, I haven’t had an ounce of happiness except of course when enjoying a meal, nap or beer the order doesn’t really matter. I can’t exclusively say the cause of this certain downturn but am inclined to believe it has something to do with a strong sense of guilt for taking matters into my own hands, pretending to be in control of my emotions and being gainfully unemployed. For someone who claimed to be and actually was heavily engrossed in positive thinking literature and thought he would walk the talk, after all how hard could it possibly be(lesser mortals have done it before me, Mandela,Carson,Clinton,the Pope, Osama even Obama), I find myself in a self induced comatose state of abject actually abysmal misery, my thoughts have recently bordered close to suicidal (and I mean that, this is not a joke) and am embarrassed to say that I may be suffering from a certain form of temporary insanity (tending towards permanent).How did I get here???
Take for example today; since I got to work here at Baroque Publishers, I have been asleep half the entire time. Let me correct that, since I started working here, two weeks from today. That means that I have been asleep for one week, can u imagine???
All I do is hope and pray that they serve lunch earlier today than they usually do then I start counting down the hours to five o’clock in between which I go to the John every after20 minutes just to see my reflection, wash my hands, (they have lovely hand gel), say hi to the janitor, he’s my friend too u know, and compliment the receptionist, she likes my shirts.
The only thing I seem to be publishing is clear and evident symptoms of recurrent bouts of trypanasomiasis (sleeping sickness, as you can see, I have done my research) I must add that this has been efficiently executed in full view of my workmates and I can only wonder what they are thinking about this new recruit (read retard) who doesn’t seem to know what to do except of course, sleep. I can’t even hit on any of the ladies; they probably think am a 60 year old man stuck in a 23 year old guy’s body. Either that or am deranged. The only consolation I have is that the youngest of them all is 35 and divorced, not my type clearly.
You know how you can spend your entire life planning and knowing that you are going to get where you have always wanted to, then in less than the time you can say bad credit, you are in between a rock and a hard place and you’re wondering how you got there in the first place. We would all love to pride ourselves in the ability to plan and execute our plans with meticulous precision but what happens when those plans meticulously go wrong and all you can say is WHY???
I have been thinking about all this and the more I think about it the more I realise I need redemption, salvation, conviction maybe even omission and just in case you are planning on advising me, let me state it clearly here that Please, Please desist from the temptation to say that you know what am going through cause these circumstances are exclusively mine.(thank you very much).
Okay now feel free to advise me accordingly because you wouldn’t be reading this if I even had the slightest inclination, flicker, tinge, ioata of doubt about your ability to advise me in this matter.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My Work Place(Part2)
Hmmmh…today is different, I feel energetic,revitalized,intellectually stimulated and satisfied after just two samosas and a cup of coffee, okay that wasn’t all, it was accompanied by an egg roll and two chapatis,hmm..mmh..Ain’t anything make me feel better than an Obama chapati.(have you seen that video too..Obama Baby).Do you know you can actually have those guys deliver this rare piece of culinary genius, artistry and wonder to your door, home, office or wherever it is you choose to partake of this wonderfully and proudly Ugandan made chapatti. Don’t know where they got their recipe from but all I know is that when you get down to munching that soft almost bread-like mixture of tender dough that has carrots and onions laid out in the right quantity, and then wash it down with the aroma-filled burning sensation of a hot cup of coffee you can’t help it but feel revitalized, energized, youthful, intellectually stimulated, yes…, realize it has me thinking about all these food stuffs and aroma.
You need an Einsteinic level of intellect to be able to conjure up these emotions and put them on paper. Okay enough about food, I can see you reader yawning, yes, YOU.Thats not good for you, just walk out of that excuse of a place you call an office and grab something to bite. Imagine If one day me and you could wake up to find that you can enjoy a McDonald’s burger as you walk down the street from your office, or better still a warm hot dog as you stroll to your car which is parked a stone’s throw away from your office. We even hope for the day when we’ll have organized parks or benches laid out well in a shade where one can sit and recollect why your boss suddenly smiled and patted you on the back when you mentioned that you deserve a pay rise because of the unprecedented number of clients that you have single handedly brought to the company while enjoying a diet coke and fries.
Sounds like a dream but you never know, one day. I don’t know about you but there is something about food that gets me thinking about big things, grand plans, ambitious projects, precise execution of targets and how if I were the mayor, this town would be custom made for the noble and grand activity of munching and crunching the order doesn’t really matter as long as you get the job done. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if instead of tear gas and rubber bullets, police actually threw hamburgers, hot dogs and anything round enough and heavy enough to be thrown with the intention of hitting the victim and successfully derailing his progress. People would never complain infact we would just find more reasons to riot, strike and wreak mayhem in a peaceful and environmental friendly way such that when the burgers start flying, you receive them in peace and comfort and munch away. Talk about a new approach to fighting crime and violence in the city, feed the homeless and they will have no reason to steal. Isn’t Uganda after all well endowed in as far as food production is concerned, so why not. All this and more can only be achieved in the 21st Century.
Hmmmh…today is different, I feel energetic,revitalized,intellectually stimulated and satisfied after just two samosas and a cup of coffee, okay that wasn’t all, it was accompanied by an egg roll and two chapatis,hmm..mmh..Ain’t anything make me feel better than an Obama chapati.(have you seen that video too..Obama Baby).Do you know you can actually have those guys deliver this rare piece of culinary genius, artistry and wonder to your door, home, office or wherever it is you choose to partake of this wonderfully and proudly Ugandan made chapatti. Don’t know where they got their recipe from but all I know is that when you get down to munching that soft almost bread-like mixture of tender dough that has carrots and onions laid out in the right quantity, and then wash it down with the aroma-filled burning sensation of a hot cup of coffee you can’t help it but feel revitalized, energized, youthful, intellectually stimulated, yes…, realize it has me thinking about all these food stuffs and aroma.
You need an Einsteinic level of intellect to be able to conjure up these emotions and put them on paper. Okay enough about food, I can see you reader yawning, yes, YOU.Thats not good for you, just walk out of that excuse of a place you call an office and grab something to bite. Imagine If one day me and you could wake up to find that you can enjoy a McDonald’s burger as you walk down the street from your office, or better still a warm hot dog as you stroll to your car which is parked a stone’s throw away from your office. We even hope for the day when we’ll have organized parks or benches laid out well in a shade where one can sit and recollect why your boss suddenly smiled and patted you on the back when you mentioned that you deserve a pay rise because of the unprecedented number of clients that you have single handedly brought to the company while enjoying a diet coke and fries.
Sounds like a dream but you never know, one day. I don’t know about you but there is something about food that gets me thinking about big things, grand plans, ambitious projects, precise execution of targets and how if I were the mayor, this town would be custom made for the noble and grand activity of munching and crunching the order doesn’t really matter as long as you get the job done. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if instead of tear gas and rubber bullets, police actually threw hamburgers, hot dogs and anything round enough and heavy enough to be thrown with the intention of hitting the victim and successfully derailing his progress. People would never complain infact we would just find more reasons to riot, strike and wreak mayhem in a peaceful and environmental friendly way such that when the burgers start flying, you receive them in peace and comfort and munch away. Talk about a new approach to fighting crime and violence in the city, feed the homeless and they will have no reason to steal. Isn’t Uganda after all well endowed in as far as food production is concerned, so why not. All this and more can only be achieved in the 21st Century.
My Work Place
My Work Place
Am here at my usual place, in front of my computer, sitted on my table and dozing as usual. I keep wondering when one of these so called employees is going to grow a pair(no offense but I don’t know what the ladies grow) and ask Why on earth am always dozing at just 11 o’clock in the morning. Maybe they are too afraid, may be they are surprised at my extravagant display of insanity. It is said that mental illness is characterized by any form of deviant behavior and that means behavior that is contrary to socially acceptable norms. What am I to do if sleeping while at work is my forte?
I can’t seem to find a cure for this malady. And don’t think I haven’t tried. I went to see the doctor, when this apparently embarrassing malaise attacked me in a bid to nip it in the bud. This was when I was but just 14 years of age, in the prime of my age considering current physical conditions. Can u imagine what the excuse of a medical practitioner told me.mbu, am reading too much and should go slow before I overtake Einstein or Carson. Should I mention that both these men were once the undisputed dwanzies of their respective classes their genius notwithstanding. They were what we would call in football terms, late bloomers. May be am a late bloomer myself. If only I can wake up in time to bloom. Am not really sure if he meant it in good faith because I was quite clear when I told him that I would love to read more often but every time I try to, am overcome by an overwhelming bout of sleep that I can’t control even with the help of water, coffee, tea or even well known barbiturates that can keep you awake for a week.
Dear reader I want you to carefully read this and tell me what my fate could be in a fast paced,monetized,competitive world where people can get things done at the speed of light and go on to accomplish targets and goals like never before. I think it would be in my best interests to retire young, sleep through my formative adult years and then marry a doctor who can medically declare that I suffer from irrepressible bouts of sleep that have left me in a comatose-like state for the rest of my life. At least then I would be entitled to preferential treatment and since I happen to be the only one of six billion people with this condition, my wife would secure colossal amounts of money to do extensive research on my condition, we would take all expense paid trips to various institutions around the world, John’s Hopkins, UCLA, Yale may be even Harvard as they try to run more tests on my brain. We would never complain about her career getting in the way of our marriage cause I would literally be her only patient. In monetary terms I would be the goose that lays our golden eggs and in that way ensure that my family is well catered for, for as long as I sleep…,hmmmh…. talk about earning a living in the 21st century.
Am here at my usual place, in front of my computer, sitted on my table and dozing as usual. I keep wondering when one of these so called employees is going to grow a pair(no offense but I don’t know what the ladies grow) and ask Why on earth am always dozing at just 11 o’clock in the morning. Maybe they are too afraid, may be they are surprised at my extravagant display of insanity. It is said that mental illness is characterized by any form of deviant behavior and that means behavior that is contrary to socially acceptable norms. What am I to do if sleeping while at work is my forte?
I can’t seem to find a cure for this malady. And don’t think I haven’t tried. I went to see the doctor, when this apparently embarrassing malaise attacked me in a bid to nip it in the bud. This was when I was but just 14 years of age, in the prime of my age considering current physical conditions. Can u imagine what the excuse of a medical practitioner told me.mbu, am reading too much and should go slow before I overtake Einstein or Carson. Should I mention that both these men were once the undisputed dwanzies of their respective classes their genius notwithstanding. They were what we would call in football terms, late bloomers. May be am a late bloomer myself. If only I can wake up in time to bloom. Am not really sure if he meant it in good faith because I was quite clear when I told him that I would love to read more often but every time I try to, am overcome by an overwhelming bout of sleep that I can’t control even with the help of water, coffee, tea or even well known barbiturates that can keep you awake for a week.
Dear reader I want you to carefully read this and tell me what my fate could be in a fast paced,monetized,competitive world where people can get things done at the speed of light and go on to accomplish targets and goals like never before. I think it would be in my best interests to retire young, sleep through my formative adult years and then marry a doctor who can medically declare that I suffer from irrepressible bouts of sleep that have left me in a comatose-like state for the rest of my life. At least then I would be entitled to preferential treatment and since I happen to be the only one of six billion people with this condition, my wife would secure colossal amounts of money to do extensive research on my condition, we would take all expense paid trips to various institutions around the world, John’s Hopkins, UCLA, Yale may be even Harvard as they try to run more tests on my brain. We would never complain about her career getting in the way of our marriage cause I would literally be her only patient. In monetary terms I would be the goose that lays our golden eggs and in that way ensure that my family is well catered for, for as long as I sleep…,hmmmh…. talk about earning a living in the 21st century.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)